Besides Avery Flynn (Who is this month’s book club selection), Rebecca York, Sally MacKenzie, Hope Tarr, Kristen Callihan, Miranda Kenneally, Kathleen Gilles Seidel, Hope Ramsay, Carlene Love Flores, Amanda Brice, Nicky Pentilla, Kimberly Kincaid (whom you don’t know yet, but you will! Go check out her novella coming soon), Michelle Willingham, Alexa Egan and so many more, I know I’m forgetting someone.

I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, Romance writers as a body are supportive and generous with their friendship and experience. Rumor has it all writers organizations are not as fabulous. I count myself lucky to be part of the Washington Romance Writers.

If you were there and I missed you because of the crush of the crowd, comment so I can recognize you!

-Lynne

So, if you couldn’t go out with your Honey on Valentine’s Day, here are 10 things to say to make it up to him:

1. Honey, let’s watch a game on the massive sports cable package I got you. Oh, the football season is over? That’s okay, we can watch last year’s season in reruns. Here, I even ironed your jersey. 
2. You farted? No, don’t apologize. I can’t smell a thing. 
3. No, I’m not looking at the GPS on my phone. I trust you know where you’re going. A few minutes late is no biggie. I’m pretty sure the invitation said 7:30, not 7:00. (Okay, this does drive me crazy. Does your husband know every “short” cut in town that seems to take twenty additional minutes with the added bonus of car sickness thanks to all the turns and loop-de-loops. Why do men do this? I have no idea. Maybe they do: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201005/why-men-dont-ask-directions-self-analysis
4. And speaking of cars… I traded in the minivan for a two seater sports car! Our kids are totally old enough to take the bus alone.
5. You were right yelling at that dude. He should’ve noticed your leg sticking out of the booth. Can I get you another beer?
6. It’s okay. My parents will understand you had plans with your friends. You go out to the sports bar. I’ll host the dinner.
7. Flowers? On Valentine’s Day? Don’t be silly. They jack up the price. All I want is a kiss.
8. Do you need me to hit the bank to get you some singles for your guys’ weekend in Vegas?
9. You want me on my knees? I’d love to. Just toss me a pillow. 
10. You’re going on a business trip on my birthday? For two weeks? Hmm, no problem, just order me one of these : Adam and Eve vibrators.*  before you go. Remember to email me some hot pix of you, so I can be <ahem> inspired.

*This post was brought to you by the lovely folks at Adam and Eve.

Jews around the world break out the buckets of oil during Hanukah to commemorate the miracle of light. In the U.S., latkes rule. Sufganiot (Jelly donuts) are Israeli tradition. My family does both. This Sunday, I’ll spend the day peeling and processing potatoes. The donuts we’ll buy.

Tips to making great Latkes:

1. Get the right potato. Some are too watery I tend to use good old Idahos. Sweet potato rock also, but that’s for the 7th night. First night is all about tradition.

2. Peel around 6 potatoes & 2 yellow onions then quickly get them in the food processor on the grate blade.

3. Quickly dump the shreds into a colander and start pressing out the water.

4. switch your food processor over to the knife and dump the shredded potatoes & onions back in. Pulse it for a few until the mixture is more mushy, but NOT soupy.

5. Add in an egg, matzoh meal, salt & pepper to taste. I suppose you could add flour, but again, it’s all about tradition. (Cue the fiddles)

6. You started your oil heating between step 3 & 4, right? Oh, well do that. I don’t use a shallow frying pan. I use a large pan with straight edges: http://store.calphalon.com/calphalon-tri-ply-stainless-steel-5-qt-saute-pan-with-cover/298996 Here’s the pan I use.

7. Grab a slotted spoon & scoop up some of the potato mixture. squeeze some water out with your hands. (Latke making is hard work & messy) I also flatten the mixture in the spoon and tilt it into the oil. Repeat, leaving room in the pan for the latkes not to touch.

Tip from my Grandma: Do Not flip the latkes more than once!

Once you determine, it’s done, pull the pancake out of the oil and drop onto a plate covered in papertowels you have waiting. Your house will smell like a McDonalds for a few days, but it’s SOOO worth it.

Get your apple sauce or sour cream ready and serve!

Today, I’m feeling patriotic. We spent the summer watching Libya, Egypt, Afghanistan & Syria fight for democracy and freedoms we take for granted. I look at North Korea and China and guess that people there aren’t getting a fair trial by a jury of their peers.

What a privilege to live in a country that touts a fair trial for all citizens as a basic right. So I’ll stop whinging and do my day or days of service.

But I find I’m curious about other democratic countries that have a fair legal process? Is there such a thing as Jury duty? I know I have readers around the world, so come out of hiding and say hi. And tell me, do you have to serve on juries? What is the process?

Everything up til now has been hypothetical but as a survivor of Hurricane Andrew, here are some tips

1. Food water flashlights, duh you already have this

2. Play it sAfe. During the storm if you hear the popping noise of breaking glass, don’t go investigate. Wait. Your home.may suffer more damage, but you’ll be safe. Insurance covers everything, including your life, but you’d rather not have your loved ones go there, right?

3. The safest place in your home is windowless room on the 1st floor toward the middle of the houses. The bathroom is best. If you have a bathroom with a tub, that’s even better. The pipes are anchored deep in the ground, and the whole house can blow away around you, but the bathtub tends to stay put.

4. In a storm like Sandy, trees crashing  through your house are the biggest fear. Since there’s no predicting which trees will fall and in what direction, there’s not much you can do here. Maybe don’t sleep in the Attic bedrooms.

5. Storm aftermath. FACT: more people were killed after hurricane Andrew then during. Accidents involving chainsaws, heart attacks etc.. We’re the real danger. Know your limitations.

6 if you are more than 6 months pregnant consider checking yourself into the hospital For the night. The barometric changes can cause early  labor. There are a lot of 20 year old Andrews running around Miami.

Thats it, stay safe everyone.

So in Revolution whent the power went out, how long did people stay in their home, complacent and believing the power company would set everything to rights soon? I live a few miles from the White House and major news studios. On what day following a blackout of power and all communications would we hike down to see if the President had any information or messages of leadership?

At what point would my husband and I say time to abandon ship? Where would we go, and what would we bring? Things I think I’d bring:

1. all jewelery with real jewels gold or pearls. Paper money is worthless, at some point this will have bartering value

2. my cast iron skillet- it can cook over an open flame and could be a makeshift weapon if necessary

3. kitchen knives

4. Shoes, 2 pairs serious winter boots & my Keens. Winter/Summer both durable

5. every leftover prescription of antibiotics and pain killers- that last episode made me think of this. Tetanus is a HUGE problem. After Hurricane Andrew, there were rusty nails everywhere from homes being blown apart. In addition to the numerous flat tires, loads of people stepped on the nails and needed Tetanus shots, but hospitals ran out. They’d never had such a demand. Same thing would happen when the power goes out.

6. A crap ton of condoms. The last thing I need while trying to survive without power is to be pregnant. Not to mention, both my kids were C-sections since my body never went into labor.  It would be dangerous to try to give birth naturally for me.

7. A book. I agonized over which one book, and finally I settled on my Tanach- that’s a Hebrew Acronym for a book that has the whole bible Plus more. And it’s in English & Hebrew. It’s got romance, suspense, intrigue, and the word of G-d. But man would I miss my Kresley Cole.

8. Tools- hammer, saw, nails, string- lots and lots of string, scissors,

9. Sewing kit, yarn, crochet hooks

10.  pencils

11. Some food- but I don’t have enough canned goods to last for more than a week

12. Sleeping bags

There’s probably more to bring, but that’s at the top of my list. What’s at the top of yours?

But food…food is a big problem. For starters, we rely almost entirely on supermarkets who rely entirely on having food trucked in on a weekly basis. Luckily a lot of the highly process food will last for a while. But the meat and veggies, that’s gone in 48 hours without any way of getting more unless you had an extensive home garden.

In my city, it’s illegal to have chickens in your backyard, so no fresh eggs. There are a few local farms in the area, but they’re more for farmers markets than full scale feeding of the population. The current US system of factory farming would shuts down with the power shut down.

The worst part is the US population has no survival skills. I can’t tell an edible berry from a poisonous one. I’m not Katniss Everdeen. Third world countries will fare better with the power out than we will.

And let’s pretend for a moment, I could fashion a bow and arrow and manage to bring down a deer in Rock Creek Park, what the heck would I do with a whole dead deer? I don’t know how to skin it, prepare it, or anything. Necessity is the mother of invention, so I’m sure we’d figure something out, but there’d be a lot of wasted deer parts for a while.

I keep thinking how our amazingly modern urban lifestyle would kill us if it were taken away abruptly. Without Google or Wikipedia to diagram hunting skills, we’re screwed!

I mentioned shelter before. I actually think we’d be okay here. My husband is very handy, even without a power tool. He’d be able to keep our home functioning or build a shelter for us. Running out of nails and supplies is a problem. Without Home depot’s sources shipping in fresh nails and lumber, it would be tough, and my husband’s good, but he’s no Charles Ingalls to fashion nails from wood instead of metal. But, overall, I’m least worried about shelter.

Clothing would be fine for a little while. But considering the poor state of our manufacturing, we’d have to figure out how to darn, sew and mend, pretty darn quickly. When’s the last time you met a cobbler? Sure my shoemaker can fix a sole, but can he make new shoes from the ground up. Without electricity? Probably not. I keep seeing the knee-high boots Monroe’s militia men are wearing in Revolution and wondering where they’re getting them. Who’s making them tall leather with metal grommet boots? In fifteen years since the blackout, shoe making becomes an art? We don’t have mentors. The days of apprenticehips are gone.

When Ben Franklin was apprenticed as a candle maker to his father. It was a necessary skill. Nowdays we head to Pottery Barn for candles. In Revolution, candles seem to be a dime a dozen. How??? I wouldn’t have the first clue how to make a candle? Does anyone other than the one person/actor in Williamsburg, VA? Who would teach us how to make candles?

You were taller than us and you wore a bra you actually needed. You were new and we’d been at camp for years already. Excuses, excuses. The bullies wrecked you. And I let them.

They called you names. They locked you out of the bunk. They peed on your pillow. And I watched.

I was relieved. If they picked on you, they’d leave me alone. And so I said nothing. Not to you, not to the bullies and not to the counselors. And I should’ve.

I understand now that silence is complicity.

I want to think you’re a grown up now and camp is a distant memory, but I know better. If the summer we bullied you is my dark spot on my otherwise happy camp experience, than I can only imagine its a barely healed wound that easily bleeds for you. I wish I could go back and tell the mean girls to stop, because now I understand they would have. They were just as scared, just as insecure as I was. We could’ve stopped it. And we didn’t. And I’m forever sorry.

Sincerely,

L

Mandy M. Roth
Yasmine Galenorn
Lauren Dane
Michelle M. Pillow
Kate Douglas
Shawntelle Madison
Leah Braemel
Aaron Crocco
NJ Walters
Jax Garren
Shelli Stevens
Melissa Schroeder
Jaycee Clark
Shawna Thomas
Ella Drake
E.J. Stevens
Ashley Shaw
Jeaniene Frost
Rachel Caine
Kate Rothwell
Jackie Morse Kessler
Jaye Wells
Kate Angell
Melissa Cutler
PT Michelle
Patrice Michelle
Julie Leto
Kaz Mahoney
Cynthia D’Alba
Jesse L. Cairns
TJ Michaels
Jess Haines
Phoebe Conn
Jessa Slade
Kate Davies
Lynne Silver
Taryn Blackthorne
Margaret Daley
Alyssa Day
Aaron Dries
Lisa Whitefern
Rhyannon Byrd
Carly Phillips
Leslie Kelly
Janelle Denison
Graylin Fox
Lee McKenzie
Barbara Winkes
Harmony Evans
Mary Eason
Ann Aguirre
Lucy Monroe
Nikki Duncan
Kerry Schafer
Ruth Frances Long

For those who don’t know, Revolution is about the day earth loses power. Nothing works, no cars, no phones, absolutely nothing. Then it flash forwards to 15 years in the future. A future that still has no power.  I can’t stop thinking about this show because our society is SO reliant on power I honestly don’t know how we’d survive. Truth be told, I don’t think my family would.

Obviously some people survive and create communities, but I keep thinking about the obstacles.  For the next few blog posts, I want to cover a future without Power. Because I’m so FREAKED by this idea. What’s so interesting is power is a relatively new commodity in the human experience. While people had discovered and even harnessed electricity a few hundred years ago, the average person didn’t have electricity in their lives until 1900s. That’s pretty recent. And now we are so reliant on it, we wouldn’t survive more than a few days without it. Have we dug ourselves into a hole?

I’m so curious about the following areas without power:

1. Food/Water

2. Shelter

3. Medical/Dental

4. Transportation

5. Social/the Arts (No romance novels! ack)

6. Government/Militia

There are also some things the show doesn’t discuss like solar power or wind power. Why can’t they turn the power back on, even using alternate sources?What about the telegraph and other machines our forefathers used? Are those out of commission too? I’d love some company as I ponder life without power.

Mama Mia from Mama Kitty reviews says “This book draws you in: begs you to devour it, relax with the characters–stay awhile. These characters, Loren and Adam are, on top of being nuclear hot, sweet and loving. Moreover, this novel speaks of real issues—physical disability and the ever-changing world of science.”

*Swoon*

Heather from Sizzling Hot Book Reviews says “A good writer knows how to suck a reader into their story within the first chapter of a book, but with Ms. Silver’s writing style, I was literally engrossed after reading only two pages of Heated Match.”

With all the chatter in the blogospher about sock puppet reviews, it feels great to get real (good) reviews from real reviewers (AKA book lovers)

So this leads me to wonder…how do you find your next read? Is it Amazon reviews? NYT lists? Word of Mouth?  I’m starting marketing budget and plan for 2013 and I want to know where to put my dollars? Should I blow it on attending a reader focused conference such as Authors after Dark or Romantic Times? Should I do banner ads? Swag (do keyrings and bookmarks sell books?)

Authors want to know! Help us find you.

Cassandra Carr: Okay. Let’s do this!

Cristal Ryder: We have to make sure we say Jami couldn’t be here because she’s on the west coast

Lynne Silver: Yes, and I couldn’t wait for her because I’m going to see Magic Mike tonight, but more on that later…….Let’s start with the new book. Cassandra, I remember you put out a request for submissions for this project. Tell us more about that

Cassandra Carr: Sure. I’ve been working with Sybarite Seductions, a small press, for a little while. They’d published one of my shorts, Loaded Question, and I talked to the editor-in-chief, Michele Jensen, about doing an anthology.

Lynne Silver: Did she pick the theme, or did you? And why voyeurism?

Cassandra Carr: I’d sent her a story, which is in the anthology as the “jumping off” story, Back to Nature, and she thought it would be cool to have stories branch off from it.

Cassandra Carr: No, the story I sent her kind of picked the theme for us.

Lynne Silver: Cool

Lynne Silver: Cristal, what about you? Had you ever written a voyeur story before?

Cassandra Carr: Why did I write one about exhibitionism and voyeurism? Because it was cool.

Lynne Silver: Was it hard to start with someone else’s idea?

Cristal Ryder: Well, sort of with Being Ariana. It was set in a club with the inention of performing before an audience. But the H/H get, er, sidetracked before that. So the voyeurism was there in a small way.

Cristal Ryder: No, not hard at all. In fact it was easier because a plot had been established and I just filled in the blanks   I really liked not having to come up with a full plot – if you know what I mean.

Lynne Silver: I sure do!

Cassandra Carr: So your story in this antho wasn’t your first foray into voyeurism?

Cassandra Carr: You saucy minx!

Cristal Ryder: Well, did you check out my reply on our blog visit yesterday:

Cassandra Carr: I meant in writing. Of course. *cough*

Cristal Ryder: Of course you did!

Lynne Silver: Ha! That was my next question.. not that I want personal details, but is exhibitionism a turn on for you?

Cassandra Carr: I think the lure of the naughty/forbidden is a turn on for a lot of people.

Cassandra Carr: How’s that for a non-answer?

Lynne Silver: it’s a good one. I like naughty, but don’t ever want to be on display

Cristal Ryder: I agree with Cassandra. Especially now that a certain book as knocked down that ‘forbidden’ wall.

Cassandra Carr: I think for me the fact that Back to Nature had a Dom and his sub made it sexy. He kept threatening spankings etc….

Cristal Ryder: As I get older, I find I’m so much more open to things. One trip around this sun right but as I look back over the years….my mischevious side was always there lurking.

Cassandra Carr: Yeah, I think I’ve gotten more adventurous too. And I care less about what people think of me.

Lynne Silver: I’m with you on that. My confidence has grown. I’ve finally internalized the message that humans are generally wrapped up in themselves and barely paying attention to me

Cristal Ryder: Me too, and I’ve learned I don’t have to always have my say. Sometimes its better to sit back, watch and let all the drama unfold around you.

Lynne Silver: Speaking of drama…As I said, I’m going to see Magic Mike tonight. Cassandra, I know you already saw it? Cristal, have you?

Cassandra Carr: My little emoticon is very winky. He’s gonna get tired.

Cassandra Carr: YES. Magic Mike. Mmmmmm.

Cristal Ryder: A bunch of us from work want to go. I hear is thin on plot but thick O_o on visuals. bahahaha

Cassandra Carr: Did you hear the news? There’s a Magic Mike 2 coming! And possibly an interactive Broadway play.

Lynne Silver: It’s fascinating to me that Magic Mike & 50 Shades hit the same summer

Cristal Ryder: ya, its a conspiracy

Cassandra Carr: Actually, it had a decent plot. For MM2 many of us suggested less plot, more stripping.

Lynne Silver: I doubt it was coordinated, but do we think that says something about the market?

Cristal Ryder: that is what we are touching on at the Passionate Ink party. “why now”

Cassandra Carr: Yeah, maybe we’re not quite as Puritanical. One can only hope.

Cassandra Carr: If people are getting more open-minded that can only be good for us.

Cristal Ryder: I think in some ways the world is going backward.  the 60′s broke the mold and liberation in all forms grew and now we seemed to have hit a wall and its stalled. but the sexual energy seems to be overtaking other energies

Lynne Silver: Yep- it can only help sales. Especially since it’s more acceptable for women to say publicly we like sex and we like looking at sexy men

Cassandra Carr: I like sex. I really like sexy men.

Cassandra Carr: Who still put down the toilet seat. I find that very sexy.

Lynne Silver: DITTO!

Cristal Ryder: women couldn’t say that before without being labeled a tramp

Lynne Silver: Whereas it was assumed a man liked those things, and if not, he was assumed to be gay. (like there was something wrong with that)

Cassandra Carr: Yeah, you’re right.

Cristal Ryder: ditto form this dirty ‘mature’ woman. won’t call myself old….yet

Cassandra Carr: And the success of male/male romance shows us there’s NOTHING wrong with that.

Cassandra Carr: Because you have sons in their 20s do you make your heroes older? Always wanted to ask you that?

Cristal Ryder: my hero’s usually are in their 30′s

Lynne Silver: ooh, good question. I for one only like heroes older than 30 minimum

Cassandra Carr: I would think it would be hard to write a hero your sons’ age.

Cristal Ryder: but I do want to write an older h/h like its complicated or something’s  gotta give

Lynne Silver: As a reader, a 20-something man isn’t interesting. He’s not seasoned enough

Cristal Ryder: unless its a cougar story

Cassandra Carr: LOL The fourth bull rider book I just started writing yesterday & the hero is the little brother of one of the others. He’s 24 and one of my youngest heroines.

Cristal Ryder: let season that poor baby

Cristal Ryder: let’s

Cassandra Carr: Put a little salt on him? You can do that with sweat, you know. Just sayin.

Lynne Silver: It depends on the story- I know you’ll make him sexy. But I wouldn’t want him to pretend or act like he’s worldly. Cause he’s a baby

Cristal Ryder: like I said. … season….

Cassandra Carr: He’s not worldly. He IS Italian, though. YUM.

Lynne Silver: Will he be with an older woman, cause that’s SEXY

Lynne Silver: Oh- well European changes everything

Cassandra Carr: A little bit. A master’s student.

Cassandra Carr: I do want to do a cougar story but no idea when that will happen. My project spreadsheet is out of control.

Cassandra Carr: So back to the antho…we should mantion Jami Davenport is also in it with two stories but works an Evil Day Job on the West Coast and couldn’t be here.

Cristal Ryder: one thing i have to note. i am fascinated by all the comments i see women make about books, hero’s, heroine’s, plot lines. it shows how people think and it’s all so different

Lynne Silver: Cristal- tell me more about what you mean. Do you mean how interesting it is that my kink is someone else’s squick?

Cassandra Carr: Yeah reader comments are invaluable to us. *taps screen* Do you hear us, readers? When we say we love to hear from readers we’re not lying.

Lynne Silver: YES! Even the negative ones. I have the BEST bad review from Goodreads for Heated Match right now. I want to ask this reader to be my Beta reader for book 3

Lynne Silver: Her comments were so thoughtful and spot-on

Cassandra Carr: Nice! Yeah. I’ve had a few of those where I said, “You’re absolutely right.” And it made me a better writer.

Cristal Ryder:  When you said about the young guy etc. it’s hard to explain, but when i hear what people say it’s like “hmmm” store that away for future. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our own little universe and forget there is a whole big one out there made of so many minds and thoughts, etc.

Cristal Ryder: I don’t think I can go to RT, cassanadra with you next year. oh btw guys  I’m running for RWA national board, so vote for me and spread the word.

Lynne Silver: OOh- You heard it here first, ladies! VOTE CRISTAL

Cristal Ryder: I want to but not enough vacay days

[4:57:49 PM] Cassandra Carr: Will pimp you like a two dollar whore.

Lynne Silver: Okay- I have to go get prettied up for Magic Mike soon.

Cassandra Carr: Have fun Lynne! Bring a drool cup!

Cassandra Carr: Thanks for having us here!

Lynne Silver: Let’s bring this back to your book release that we’re supposed to be pimping. Will there be a follow up?

Cassandra Carr: http://www.sybariteseductions.com for info on Public Displays of Eroticism

Cristal Ryder: yes there is…MY IDEA…

Lynne Silver: I’m bringing my bag of toys. #NOTREALLY

Lynne Silver: Oooh- what’s your idea, Cristal

Cristal Ryder: you hashtag in Skype! Twitterized

Cassandra Carr: Not a follow-up to this one but Cristal and I and Cynthia Carr are doing an antho that will be out later this year.

Lynne Silver: I hashtag at the dinner table at this point

Cristal Ryder: True not a follow up but a whole new one.

Cassandra Carr: And yes, totally Cristal’s idea!

Cassandra Carr: I hashtag everything too. #TwitterAddict

Cristal Ryder: it is a coach and student idea in the sports arena. Mine will be a golf story, Cassandra’s tennis, and don’t know about Cynthia yet. Hot shorts.

Cassandra Carr: Yep. Just finished my first draft.

Cristal Ryder: Sexy Sports Shorts – like that Cassandra?

Cassandra Carr: Okay Lynne. Go get pretty or we’ll never stop talking.

Cristal Ryder: Mine will be written in August. no time right now.

Cassandra Carr: Ohhhhhhhhhhh nice!!!!

Lynne Silver: oooh- THAT”s why you were asking about tennis underwear on twitter yesterday

Cassandra Carr: Yep.

Cristal Ryder: LOL

Lynne Silver: That’s a great theme. I can’t think of any tennis or golf erotica

Cristal Ryder: I told Meat Man a bedtime story the other night and plotted it out. He likes bedtime stories 

Lynne Silver: Okay- Thank you both Cristal & Cassandra for stopping by. Everyone else,  go get PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF EROTICISM!!!

Cassandra Carr: Thanks Lynne! Thanks readers! *blowing kisses*

Cristal Ryder: Thanks Lynne, for having us and excuse the typos and no caps.

Cristal Ryder: Enjoy MM!

To enter:

Step 1: Grab a copy of Heated Match.  Find your favorite line from the book. Tweet it, Facebook it, or post it on your blog. To be sure your entry is counted, be sure to use the hashtag #HEATEDMATCH on Twitter. On Facebook use the hashtag and name me (after you friend me, of course) via Facebook. If you blog it, email cont...@lynnesilver.com Be sure to include a link.

Deets: The contest will run from July 2-August 2, 2012. On August 2, I will pick 2 winners at random. Good luck! The contest is open to only residents of the continental US. I’m so sorry, but shipping costs make it impossible for me to open it to the whole world. I truly wish I could. I promise to hold another international contest soon.

I’ll get you started: my favorite line: “If Rowan thought the situation was slightly sticky, reality dictated it’d be a full-on jar of honey with a super-glue chaser.”

There’s also rumor that the groom deflowers the bride during this time, but I don’t know of anyone who actually did this. After the private time is over, the bride and groom will rejoin the large party, where they are likened to a king and queen. Party guests will endeavor to entertain them with dances, juggling and more.

My husband and I practiced our juggling passes for weeks so we could get up and juggle for our guests. We still sucked, but the photos came out great! The traditional Hora will be danced and the bride and groom lifted on chairs and danced around. A Jewish wedding can be a rocking party.

And that’s really it… Now go off an write your authentic Jewish wedding in your manuscript.  Feel free to ask me any questions.

So…I left you last at the bride walking up the aisle to the Chuppah.  Oh- and a note about the Chuppah, it is usually 4 poles attached to fabric, symbolizing the new home the couple will make together. It’s open on all sides to signify the couple will grow and will welcome visitors and the community. Traditionally the groom’s tallis (prayer shawl)  is used as the fabric. We used my husband’s tallis, but since his was white and burgundy, my mother the consumate artist was unhappy with the color clash. So she had it sewn into an all white fabric. Only the people under the chuppah could see his tallis.

Okay, back to the actual ceremony…The bride gets up to her groom, and does she stand still? No, she does not. She will walk in a circle 7 times around the groom, often reciting prayers, or often just counting to 7. I was a counter. There’s a variety of explanations for the circling, one of which is that it establishes the couple as a single unit within the community.

Then the ceremony is turned over to the Rabbi or any learned Jewish person who is authorized by the state to administer a wedding. We had not one but four ordained rabbis at my wedding.  Only 1 lead the ceremony. He said some prayers, he made a nice speech about us, and then he turned it over to my husband’s best friend, a wonderful musician who sang the Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings. These are the traditional prayers sung over the bride and groom. For a translation, look here: http://www.cantorli-paz.com/shevaBrachot.pdf 

The groom is asked to repeat one traditional sentence: I am consecrated unto you according to the laws of Moses and Israel. Then he places the ring on the bride’s right index finger. The bride says nothing. If she chooses, and most modern brides do, she can repeat what the groom said, or she can pick something else to say. I chose a passage from Song of Songs: My beloved is Mine, and I am his. Of course, I messed it up totally and ended up saying something like “I love myself and myself alone” My Rabbi shrugged and said “Close enough” LOL

After the blessings, the bride is given her Ketubah, her marriage contract, the promises the groom makes to her. I am often blown away that Judaism is one of the only religions who makes the groom have legal obligations to his bride. I could do a whole other blog post about the Ketubah, and perhaps will one day. Many couples turn theirs into works of art. (we did) and get creative with the words of the document (we didn’t). For a translation of the traditional text, check here: http://www.jewishcelebrations.com/Wedding/Orthodox/KetubahText.htm

And then comes the breaking of the glass- perhaps the most famous of the Jewish wedding traditions. A glass is wrapped in a napkin and placed by the groom’s foot, who smashes it. And the guests yell MAZAL TOV!! Many modern couple choose to convert the shards into something decorative for their home. (we did)

And the ceremony is complete…mostly. check back in Monday for the final bits…

Because it’s different from the typical American wedding you see on TV.  Keep in mind of course that there is no such thing as one standard Jewish wedding just as there is no standard Christian wedding. I’ll talk about my ownn traditional wedding since I’m most familiar with it.

The biggest way a Jewish wedding differs is that there is no exchange of vows. Nor is a Rabbi necessary. In fact, the only things you need for a Jewish wedding are a bride, a groom (and even that’s shifting in this world of same-sex marriages), a gold ring worth at least a few dollars and a ketubah.

So,  Jewish wedding has two big acts. When guests arrive, and a Jewish wedding can be anywhere…beach, hotel, synagogue…. the men go to one room and the women go to another. The men gather around the groom telling ribald jokes and keeping his mind off his nerves. The women gather around the bride, who is often seated on a chair on a dais with her mother and future mother in law. Marital advice is given.

The men come dancing in to the women’s room with the groom toward the front. He will greet his bride. Ensure she is indeed the woman he intends to marry then place tthe veil over her face.  Remember your bible story where Jacob is tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel. This modern practice has origins in that story of viewing your bride unveiled before the ceremony.

Once the Bedeken- or veiling is complete, all the guests go to the main room or the main ceremony. Groomsmen and bridesmaids are optional, and most modern brides opt to have them. I did.  The groom will walk down the aisle accompanied by both parents. And both parents remain under the Chuppah ((wedding canopy) with him.

Then the bridesmaids come down followed by the bride accompanied by BOTH parents. Again the parents remain. This is one area where I think Judiaism does it well. A marriage is a coming together of two families so it makes sense to have everyone remain under the chuppah.  Next comes a really unusual part…which you’ll learn about tomorrow.

Why?

Because it’s motivating. It assumes success. Don’t write your Golden Heart acceptance speech. Though GH is an amazing award, it’s a stepping stone. It means your book is not yet in the hands of readers. Go for the gold. Go for the Rita.

If you live as if you are a successful author, writing and selling the books of your heart, even if it’s not quite yet reality, it WILL happen. It has to. You already wrote your Rita speech. In my Rita speech I thanked my agent. At the time I didn’t have one. Now I do.

I thanked the Washington Romance Writers, the best, most supportive chapter in the country. This June I will become Secretary on the board of the chapter to help steer the chapter to continue its amazing mission.

I challenge you, in whatever career or goal you set for youself, assume success and it will surely come. Good luck! (Though you won’t need it. You already have your winning speech ready)

He is NOT  a birthday celebrator. So despite this being a big number birthday, he wants me to ignore it. Too bad! I’m throwing a party! Cause I love parties. As a concession to his anti-social ways, I’m keeping it VERY casual and limited the guests to family only. Given the size of our family, w’ll have 20 people for dinner Friday night.

If it were up to him, he & I would be on a plane this week to somewhere cool like Japan or South Africa to celebrate his birthday. Sadly the budget didn’t have room for a birthday trip, so we’re sticking close to home. And I probably won’t even get him a present. He’s impossible to shop for. In the 20 years I’ve known him, I have yet to buy him a gift he actually used. Wait- I did manage to get one gift he liked.  One night he said he loved peanut butter more than anything. My then-8 year old asked if he “liked it so much, would he marry it,” the answer was yes. I bought him a cafeteria sized jar of crunchy peanut butter and we decorated the jar of PB in white tulle and faux pearls. Best. Gift. Ever.

What about your sweetie? Is he/she a birthday celebrator? Easy to buy gifts for?

This week, I’ve decided to play Oprah and start posting about my favorite thing of that week or that month, whenever the mood is upon me. Today, I’m posting about my new ring. It was my grandmother’s. It was her wedding band. Not the one she got married in, but the one my grandfather bought for her later in life when he could afford to buy her a significant piece of jewelry. It never left her finger, and it slid right on mine like it was meant to be.

Both my grandmother and I have oddly skinny fingers, and no one else in the family could’ve worn the ring. So I got it by default, and I love it. Here it is:

Do you have any family jewlery that you inherited? Do you love it? Not your style?

When she passes (and I’m skeptical of the whole doctor prediction thing- my aunt’s mother lived in and out of hospice for 3 years!)  But when she passes, I will be without any living grandparents. 

But it is truly a loss not just for me personally but to lose the generation who were grown ups during WWII, who marched in Civil Rights battles, who remember a world without television and the internet.

#sad

1. Characters to root for.  Some people instantly standout. They have the elusive X factor making them memorable. This seasons, Ippy, comes to mind.  I still love Justin from last season. I know he was boring in front of the camera, but the sheer eye candiness of him made him fun to watch. Food Network should consider bringing him back with a partner for a buddy duo show. Justin can cook and look pretty in front of the camera, and the other person can talk.

2. Characters to hate. Sorry, dude.  yelling “Rock & Roll, “DOESN’T make you cool or rock and roll. Too bad Giada’s team won last night. I would’ve like to see him go.

3.  Competition- As each person presents, I root for him or her (unless you’re yelling ‘Rock & Roll’) and then at the end one or two stand out.

4. The food, oh the food. Skills, and recipes. I love watching them crack eggs, dice veggies, etc,.. I always gain new cooking skills. I also love how creative they get with the ingredients.

5. Documentary- having Giada, Alton and Bobby as the team leaders this season only heightens the behind the scenes look at how a food show is made and how a network operates. Sometimes you have to squint to see it, but it’s there.

Are you watching Food Network Star this season? Or is there another reality show that has you glued?

For the past few years I’ve bragged about our supportive, women dominated, and highly financially successful industry to outsiders. Don’t make me eat my words.

Yes, there was an author talking about her contracts and her royalty statements from her traditional publisher. She was sharing HER experience. I found it fascinating and plan on using her information to ask the right questions before signing any contracts with any publisher.

And yes, there was an agent who responded to her post, sharing his view on self-publishing. Again, HIS view. Free country, people. He should be allowed to post his opinion freely, and YOU should be allowed to post your dissenting opinion. All good. However, it’s not good when people are gleefully mocking and measuring success when the agent removes the post due to the nasty comments.

I heard Robyn Carr speak a few weeks ago, and one of the things she said was that 90 percent of success in this industry was showing up, writing a good book and being nice. You hear me? BEING NICE. I’m NOT saying be a pushover or a doormat. I’m in this game to make money and earn my living whether through traditional means or indie pubbing. I will question my agent, my contracts, my royalty statements and so forth, but I try to do so in a professional manner.

Now I’m going to get a little religious, feel free to click away…

A little Kabbalah lesson for the morning…When God created the earth, He put his essence into a vessel which filled with his light, righteousness and goodness and holiness. Unfortunately, the vessels couldn’t contain the essence, cracked and spilled the light across the planet during creation. Our job, while here on earth is to gather up those bits of light and make the jars whole again. (Tikkun, repair)

Once you spill darkness to cover the light, its out there, and your bit of vitriol and negative energy is free, there is no gathering it back.

(Author’s note: I am too young to have studied more than bits and pieces of Kabbalah, so if I totally messed up the lesson, let me know)

The author table was filled with lovely bookmarks, cover flats and other gorgeous full-cover items. And the goody bag was chock full of the like.

I admired all of it, and for the first time since being published felt a little lame that I had nothing on the table. As a digital author, I’ve never seen the need for bookmarks. But still, it felt unprofessional not to have anything.

And so now that I have a new book coming out soon, I’m wondering what should I do to promote it? I have all the social media covered. And I plan on blogging etc.. but do I want to pay a printer to make something beautiful as a keepsake? I’m very very tempted. I’m not convinced they sell books though. I don’t think a pretty bookmark has ever made anyone buy a book, so is it the best traction for my limited marketing budget. I don’t know.

And so I throw the question out to you as readers. What works? Sample chapter booklets? Bookmarks? Postcards? Trading cards? Or is it more about having your cover out there and hoping the visual and author name stick in someone’s subconscious?

A few years back I took my first fiction writing course. The teacher warned us to think long and hard before embarking on the fiction writing journey, “because we’d never be able to see or enjoy a movie the same way.” Last night I finally reached that point. I’d wanted to see Avengers because of all the hoopla and I love a good superhero flick. Plus lots of my respected author friends were Facebooking that they loved the movie.

But I didn’t. Love it, that is. And I’m struggling to pinpoint why.

Things to love.

1. Male eye candy.

2. hilarious zingers from RDJ- “Hold on tight, Legolas”

3. Loki calling ScarJo a “Quim” I was the ONLY person in the theater who understood the meaning. I guess that’s how you get away with calling someone a cunt in a PG-13 movie.

4. Stan Lee’s cameo- Again, I think my husband and I were the only people who recognized him. (What theater did I go to? Clueless Cinemas?)

5. Special effects were fun

Things that made me go hmmm and roll my eyes:

1. Lack of true character motivation for the villains. “I am Loki and I want to rule the world. Bwa ha ha ha”  “We are power hungry alien dudes who want to conquer. Bow down earthlings!”

2. Shadowy super secret US government organization masterminding the superheros.

3. All action takes place in Manhattan. In about a 4 square block. And seriously New Yorkers, when there’s a massive invasion. STOP standing at the windows of your sky scrapers peering out. A spaceship/laser ray, tail of a dragon/etc… Will take facing of the building off in a massive crash and you’ll be killed. Sheesh woulda thought you’d learn by now. How many movies will it take.

4. And Aliens, if you’re all connected to the same power source, don’t leave the mothership vulnerable. Again, how many movie invasions will it take before you realize a superhero American will make the ultimate sacrifice (his life) to insert a nuclear device in your mothership thereby killing/shutting down all your soldiers?

Maybe I’m being curmudgeonly, but I’ve come to expect out-of-the-box plotting from Joss Wheedon. Instead Avengers is same old-same old.

What did you think? I know you saw the movie based on weekend box office numbers.

His fabulous teacher keeps him challenged by giving him different math homework that still works on the same skill. So if the class is learning to count by 2s, his homework is to count by 27s.

And he enjoys the math challenge and usually sails through them. But last night he was stumped. And I was stumped on how to explain it. There were a variety of obstacles in the way, the worst being that the worksheet wasn’t designed for a 7 year old’s handwriting. There simply wasn’t room for him to write 3 fractions without overlapping into the next problem set. And one problem of being a math genius is that you tend to be literal and a rule follower. His teacher hadn’t specifically said he could rewrite the math problems on graph paper, so he forced himself to try to squeeze his handwriting.

After 2 hours of working with him, I finally had enough. I needed to do the dishes and get the boys ready for dinner. So I called it. I know the teacher always gives the challenge homework with the caveat of do what you can, If it’s too hard, stop.

But my Tenacious J, refused to quit. He HAD to finish his homework. And I was torn. Was it okay to tell a kid to quit? Working through challenges builds life skills. Telling him it was okay to quit felt wrong on my tongue.

And I thought about all the unpublished writers out there, writing and struggling to get published. Some quit. It’s just too damn hard. But some don’t quit. They quit in a good way by putting a manuscript aside. Or querying a different publishing house. Or changing genres. Not quitting is what gains success. So the message today, is be like my son. If there’s something you want. DON’T QUIT. Don’t pound sand either, find a strategy. If over doesn’t work, dig a tunnel.

Have you ever quit or wanted to quit something. I have- and I can share that story later.

Because I’m a flitter. When I go to a conference or even a party, I flit from person to person excited to talk and connect with all the familiar and new faces I see. “Oh, there’s Lavinia, I want to hear about her son’s college applications” “And there’s Robin, I wonder how her book edits are going.” “Oh, and I haven’t met Allison yet, but I keep reading her posts on the chat loop and would love to meet her in person”

And off I go…

But maybe it would be better to be a sitter. To find one or two people and sit and really connect. Maybe I’ll return home at the end of the weekend regretting that I only waved at some people, but I’ll feel strong bonds with the fewer people that I did make time to connect with.

And speaking of connections… CONNECT was the buzzword of my weekend. I self Selected out of the craft workshops to attnd the marketing and industry ones. Connect was my takeaway buzz word. Connect with readers, other authors and the community at large.

So talk to me…Are you a flitter or a sitter? What is your conference strategy?